Happy Pirates Festivus!

For many of you the airing of grievances is a 365 day celebration when it comes to the Pirates, but today I’m going to have a little fun as I give you my top ten grievances for the Buccos because I’ve got ’em, and you’re gonna listen!

10. These Guys Can’t Draft!

Of all the things that drive me nuts about the Pirates this one really sticks in my craw. If there is one benefit that should come from sucking out loud for the majority of four decades, one would think that would be some absolute homeruns in the draft.

Somebody should tell them you are allowed to hit on a player who isn’t a first rounder too. It’s obviously too early to say Ben Cherington is better or worse but I’m over it.

9. Josh Bell

Josh Bell ticks me off! Look at the guy, he’s built like a brick shi* house and has shown the ability to hit the ball over the fence with a flick of the wrists, SO WHY CAN”T HE JUST DO IT? Do you know how bad I’d love to be talking about Boras screwing us out of keeping him rather than hoping he does well enough to get traded?

8. Replay Review

I hate replay review. I hate how it slows down the game. I hate how it’s become such a granular thing broken down like the Zepruder film to catch a guy sliding a quarter inch too far. But what I hate most about replay, it wasn’t around in 1992 to call that sumbitch Sid Bream out!

7. People Who “Don’t Care Anymore” Yet Always Comment Without Reading

You know who you are, but you probably aren’t reading this. You’ll know who it is too because it will obviously say something about Nutting (more on him later)

6. Parody in Baseball

The funny thing is I actively hate something that doesn’t exist. Selfishly I want the Pirates to win but there are 20 other markets I’d happily watch win it all just to see something different. When the Dodgers won last season I wanted to wretch while the announcers acted like they overcame something to win.

5. Losing the West Virginia Black Bears

I loved going to see all those recent draft picks playing so close to home and the community really loved having them too. I’m grateful to still have Altoona but this post is about complaining. Sincerely though, I’ve made connections and memories that will last a lifetime and I’ll really miss it.

4. Never Saying Rebuild

It’s just a word and the damage it does to the psyche of the fan base is palpable. I understand the gamesmanship of not stating your intentions out loud but nobody is fooled except maybe the few fans who think you might just sign that top end starting pitcher this year.

3. 1979

When you complain that you haven’t seen a championship since 1979 keep in mind some of us have never seen a championship period.

2. Baseball Has Changed

I always say if you don’t like the way baseball is being played wait a couple years and it’ll change. This version of baseball with all the shifts, no running game, openers, strikeouts, walks or homeruns isn’t the best version of this game though.

I really hope someone breaks the mold and goes old school on baseball, and wins doing it, because if nothing else MLB is a copycat league.

1. Bob Nutting

Everything about him. Everything you think about him. Just him. If they ever do win there is zero chance anyone thinks anything but it was in spite of him. I don’t want to care about the owner anymore yet there is hardly a subject I can write about in which I don’t have to put some kind of qualifier for what Nutting will and won’t do.

It’d be nice if I could propose an idea without having to consider whether it’s possible with Nutting.

Hey everyone, have a very Merry Christmas and if you have some more grievances I’m certainly here to listen.

Published by Gary Morgan

Former contributor for Inside the Pirates an SI Team Channel

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