‘Twas The Night Before Christmas: Pirates Edition

‘Twas the day before Christmas and all through PNC Park, not a creature was stirring especially without Kyle Stark. Cleats and gloves were hung in their lockers with care, in hopes that Opening Day soon would be there.
The Pirates Fans were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of transactions danced in their heads.
And Ben Cherington from the Front Office and I in my Bucs In The Basement Cap had just settled down for an off-season chat.
When up on the Rotunda there arose such a clatter, that I sprang from my seat behind home plate to see what was the matter.
Out to the left field bleachers I flew like a flash, waved the Jolly Roger, had one too many IC Lights and fell with a crash!
The gleam from the skyline illuminated the seats, Where I found some signed Pirates Bobbleheads that Joe Klimchak and the Bucco Brigade left at my feet!
When what to my glazed eyes should appear, but “Billionaire” Bob and 8 Top Prospects that are near!
I rattled my brain with ETA’s quite lively and quick, that I knew in that moment it must be another one of his tricks!
More rapid than Grasshoppers, Marauders, Curves and Indians coursers they came, he snickered and shouted and called them by name! Come Hayes! Come Cruz! Come Pegeuro and Gonzales! Come Priester! Come Swaggerty! Come Mason Martin and Cal Mitchell!
Across the Clemente Bridge, to the top of the Clemente Wall! Now smash away and make a splash away! And flash away all!
When they meet with an obstacle, the projections did fly! Until they have forecasts that are all sky high! With a future full of championship runs from Nutting to you! I thought to myself, “This must be a dream, it just can’t be true!”
And then in twinkling I heard from PA system, a voice that I knew right away was a Cannonball Comin’!
As I drew in my head and was turning around, the voice that I heard was the one and only Greg Brown!
He called each play with excitement in spite of the score, he left us all on the edge of our seats and constantly wanting more!
I saw Shelton on the top steps of the dugout giving his signals! To batters and runners, to pitchers and even the catcher! His hands they moved quickly! From the brim of his hat then to belt and chin, then finally his shoulder!
Bell swung away fast and as quick as a breeze, crushing the ball to the Allegheny with the greatest of ease! With a bat flip and a smile rounded the bases! We got to their pitcher and finally chased him! The Pirates, their aces and bullpen came through! Sitting down opposing hitters as they regularly swung right out of their shoes! On to top of the 9th Oscar Marin walked to the mound! He told Baby Thor to bring the hammer down! All the Pirates Fans stood as the game would soon be over! The chanted and cheered in support of their closer! He gave away K-struts as part of his routine! With the final swing of the game, it was quickly strike three! I heard Brownie claim as he came into sight!
Raise The Jolly Roger to all on this Zambelli Fireworks night!

Published by Craig W. Toth

Former Contributing Author at InsidethePirates.com, Co-Host of the Bucs in the Basement Podcast and life-long/diehard Pittsburgh Pirates Fan!

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